Thursday, March 17, 2011

Linguistics of Compassion, What are the?

Why do I do the things I do? What do I strive for? What really makes me tick? What is motivating me to continue in dance without the desire to excel and compete, and remain in contentment in mediocrity and slow (but steady) progress? Is it simply because I don't want the responsibility that comes with "great power" as a person who is successful at what they do, or am I just lazy? What are my motivations? Is all I want a community and a sense of belonging?

For so long I've been misunderstood by the people around me, people who supposedly know who I am better than myself. People who are supposed to know who I am. Constantly being misunderstood, wondering if in fact I was insane or mentally incapable. Only a handful of people actually know and understand who I am. So frustrated at this perceived inability to express myself, that is why I'm so drawn to art, dance and music. It's painful and therapeutic, just as painful as an infant trying to find their voice and the words scrambling to move with more deliberation.

I want to be able to express myself coherently through any medium I can find, including physical. Using the facial expressions, gestures, body language, a variety of languages, ways of speaking and seeing. I want coherence, to express myself in a way that people can understand clearly what I mean, what I say. If human emotion is universal, then why is it so difficult to communicate? Is compassion universal? Why is it so difficult to obtain?

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