Thursday, October 06, 2011
Perhaps it is only now that I truly and fully understand everything that's happened in my life, now that I'm more stable and grown and it's now when it's most difficult to be as patient, understanding and tolerant with strangers, when I've spent a good portion of my years on developing relationships that would fade after a time. That comes with the territory. But it feels as if it is only now that I realise the true impact of all the traumatic events on my psyche and how much they hurt, to fully feel them and not just deal with it, to reject them and have them frozen and closed off because I had to be strong. And I resent it, I resent all these things I have to go over again as it all defrosts.